“I don’t like selling.” “I’m no good at selling.” “I feel uncomfortable selling.” Do any of these sentences resonate with you?
I started working with a new business coaching client last week – a former CEO of a multi-million dollar company. As successful as he had been in his previous company, “I don’t like selling” were the first words out of his mouth. However, after a bit of investigation, I discovered that he didn’t like rejection, and in his mind, selling equals rejection.
This is a common belief that many people share. There is something debiliating to our self-confidence when we hear the word “No”. It’s one of the reasons I have a chapter about rejection in my book, Devil with a Briefcase. As I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness and spent over 30 years actively going from door to door with a very unpopular message, I experienced more than one door slammed in my face. I’ve also been mobbed, had hoses turned on me and dogs sikked on me. Seriously, hearing the word “NO” and being rejected was pretty much a daily part of my life.
You too will face rejection. That’s a fact of life. You probably won’t be physically attacked by people or animals but people will say “NO” to you in your business. How you handle that rejection can make a huge difference to your attitude and your bottom line.
What is it about the word “NO” that makes you cringe, run for cover or feel like a failure? Think for a moment how many times you have said the word “NO” to other sales people. Did you buy the first house you looked at? Did you purchase every piece of clothing you tried on at the store? Did you buy the first car you testdrove? Did you marry the first person you kissed? Probably not! You said “NO” to all of those people who were selling you real estate, clothes, cars or wanted to be in a relationship with you.
Now ask yourself: Did you hate the real estate agent or was the first house simply not what you were looking for? Did you have a vendetta against the sales clerk which caused you to say no to the suit you tried on? Were you mad at the car salesperson or did the car just not handle the way you hoped for? “Of course not!” you say. “I just was expressing my opinion.” If that’s true for you, why would it be any less true for people that you are offering your service or product to?
They have opinions, expectations and guidelines for what they are looking to bring into their life. They too deserve the right to say, “I want something different, cheaper, more efficient, another color, better quality, smaller or bigger.” It’s not about you. They are simply expressing an opinion.
Rather than look at it as rejection, why not look at what they say as valuable information. Let’s say that I tell you I don’t want to attend your networking event. Does that mean that your event is wrong or bad or useless? Absolutely not! It simply means that I don’t want to attend your networking event. Nothing more needs to be read into that statement. What it gives you is valuable information. I personally don’t make connections through networking events. Then why not ask me how I choose to make my connections so you can possibly accommodate me… or not. That would
make far more sense than to get offended about my “NO” or feel rejected because I didn’t do it the way you wanted. It’s not about you. It’s always about the other person, so look at every “NO” as a great opportunity to learn something about your potential partners.
For example, as a real estate agent let’s say that your client tells you they don’t want a two storey house. They don’t want to live in a certain area. They don’t like a small back yard. All great information. What do they want instead of a two storey house, that part of town or the small back yard? You have just been given valuable information that you can work with. So work with it and see if you can help them out. If not, no worries. There will be others.
When you are excited to learn about what people like or don’t like, then a “NO” is never taken personally. Selling is a game of playing detective and finding out about a person’s likes and dislikes. You may even be able to help your potential partner learn something about themselves that could really make a difference in their life.
So what if a client says: “I don’t like the back yard in this house”, could you respond with: “Do you know what it is that you don’t like?” That now gets the client thinking about what they don’t like and articulating it for both themselves AND you, the salesperson. They reply: “There’s no privacy with all the neighbors so close.” Great clue! “So you want more privacy in your home?” The lightbulb goes on for them as they agree with you. You can now respond confidently with this piece of important information: “Good, let’s go find you a home where you have more privacy.”
Do you see how we just turned a “NO” into a valuable piece of information? Can you do the same in your business conversations? For sure! Rather than see the negative answers such as: “I don’t like, I don’t want, I don’t know, I don’t think so” as rejection, begin to see them as precious information.
Notice too throughout the day how many times you say “NO” and observe why you say “NO” and the feelings behind your “NO”’s. I’m sure you will find that they are not filled with hatred, rejection, or anger. You are simply expressing your opinion and feelings.
Selling is an integral part of business. Quite honestly, without selling, there would be no business. So getting comfortable with sharing what you have to offer with others is crucial to your success. Some will say yes, some will say no but at the end of the day, it will be your attitude about what they say that determines your success.
Go make it an outstanding month of selling!
To Your Outrageous Success!
P.S. If you don’t have my CD on Heart to Heart Selling, please go to
www.janjanzen.com and order yours today. You will find it full of valuable information to help you sell with more confidence, ease and fun!
P.P.S. Female entrepreneurs in Vancouver – there is a powerful one day workshop September 8th on creating lucrative Joint Ventures. Check this out today! Mom Comes Home
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