Do You Watch Your Tongue?

We were talking about the power of words in a conversation the other night when I remembered a very powerful scripture I was raised on.

In the Bible book of James, it talks about a riding bit controlling a horse, a rudder directing a ship and a small fire destroying a forest. It then says, “The tongue is also a small part of the body, but it can speak big things.”

The Bible speaks alot about our tongue. It talks about a deceitful tongue, a sharp tongue, a smooth tongue, a malicious tongue, a gentle tongue, a flattering tongue, and James then says that “no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

With those words, it makes you feel like there is nothing good or encouraging that we can do with our tongue.

I know that my little tongue has got me into serious trouble on occasion and made me regret opening my mouth more than once. Perhaps you have had similar situations when you could just bite off your tongue for all the damage it caused.

Just like a small fire can bring warmth to a human, that same fire can destroy an entire forest. Obviously, our tongue needs some control or
guidelines, so it doesn’t consume our lives and create irreparable damage.

My mother used to tell me that “I should think before I speak”. The problem is that our minds are racing so fast, the tongue is hurrying to catch up. Consequently, we find ourselves saying something that if left in our mind for a few more minutes, would have been discarded and never said.

Do you really get how powerful your words are? Just think about
something kind or encouraging that you said to a partner, child, friend or
employee. Did you notice how their posture shifted, how their head lifted
or how they smiled? Have you also noticed when you rebuked or criticized someone? What happened? Isn’t it true that their shoulders slumped, their head bowed or their facial expression turned to one of anger, sadness or disbelief at what you were saying?

Can you remember receiving praise from a teacher or parent? Do you
remember how good, confident or proud you felt? Do you also remember
being on the receiving end of some harsh words? I recall the words of Mr.
Koots, my Grade 7 teacher after he finished reading one of my submissions for a writing contest. He said something positive about it (which interestingly I can’t remember), and then he said, “But you aren’t going to win the contest.” My confidence and excitement left me like a balloon sliced wide open with a knife.

I think of him on occasion as I just received my second book from the printers and have been asked by a major publishing firm to submit a book
proposal on my first book, Devil with a Briefcase. However, Mr. Koots was
absolutely right. I didn’t win the contest but that conversation could have
been much more empowering.

So here are 10 things that I try to remember as I spend much of my day
in conversation with people:

1. Do I need to say what I am about to say?
2. What purpose will it serve for them?
3. Am I more concerned about what I want to say or rather if they really need to hear it?
4. Will it encourage them or discourage them?
5. How can I use my words to encourage constantly while still getting what I need to get done?
6. Can I say it in less time with fewer words?
7. Will my words be more effective through a story or use of an example?
8. Can I include the words “please” and “thank you” frequently throughout the conversation?
9. Can I start and end the conversation on a positive note as that is what is usually remembered?
10.Will I be proud of this conversation at the end of the day?

If you have a gift of encouragement, then having empowering conversations may be easier for you. If you were raised in an environment where praise, gratitude and appreciation were non-existent or scarce, then learning to use your tongue for the empowerment of others may take more practice and persistence.

We have all experienced personally the ramifications of a sharp tongue, an angry outburst or a critical comment as compared to a word of encouragement, a loving comment or a note of appreciation. The results
are so strikingly different, both in the speaker and in the listener, that it
has really motivated me to watch even more closely my tongue, to pay
even better attention to the gist of my conversations and to intend constantly to use my tongue to empower, encourage and edify.

Your little tongue can do a tremendous amount of good today. May you
be empowered to use it wisely.

Blessings,

This information is copyrighted. Please feel free to pass along, use as part of your spiritual newsletters but please keep all information including contact information intact. Thank you for your respect and integrity in this matter.

Jan Janzen is a non-denominational minister, author and entrepreneur. Her book Devil with a Briefcase: 101 Success Secrets for the Spiritual Entrepreneur along with her CD series for the Spiritual Entrepreneur and other resources for the entrepreneur with ethics are available at
www.spiritualentrepreneurinfo.com. For more information on Jan’s ministry and her support of microfinance projects around the world, please visit www.janjanzenministries.com

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