When are you helping and when are you hindering?

My client Geli and I at Zoolas

This past weekend was the fulfillment of words I spoke about a year ago. Geli has been working with me as a client for several years and is a fabulous healer in her own right. She had come to Guatemala to do a course and had loved it. As she was talking about it during one of our sessions, I said quite unexpectedly, “Geli, we will meet one day in Guatemala.” Well those words came true this past weekend as we spent part of Friday and most of Saturday together here at the lake!

It was wonderful to share our Guatemalan experiences together over the wonderful food at Zoolas. At one point the manager and the waiters were smoking marijuana across the way from us and then went back to serving the clients, but we just laughed and said, “yes, this is Guatemala!” You learn to roll with the punches when you travel abroad and expect the unexpected.

One of the things Geli and I spoke about and also has been a topic of conversation amongst some of the foreigners I have chatted with is when are you helping as a foreigner in a developing country and when are you hindering? As I look around this country, there are obviously lots of things that as someone coming from North America, you immediately think need to be fixed. The kids clothes aren´t always the cleanest, the dogs roam the streets, nobody has ever heard of a doggie bag for picking up after their dog, the schools can be out for months at a time because the teachers don´t make enough money and so they don´t work, the forests are being cut down at an alarming rate for firewood to cook on, women are dying in childbirth due to lack of medical attention and the list goes on and on and on and on. You could go crazy here trying to fix everything.

So having lived in developing countries more than once and having spent time in several, (Ecuador, South Africa, Mexico and now Guatemala), I have come to some conclusions about the matter that I thought I would share with you today because in the near future I do have some things I will ask for your help with.

Lesson number one that I learned is that my way is not necessarily the best way or the right way. North America may be considered a developed country but we are not perfect by any means. We have our share of problems and although they may be different than those of Guatemala, we don´t have all the answers nor the best way.

Lesson number two that I figured out is that imposing my way of doing things isn´t always the best for the country in which I am living. For example, if people were all of sudden to eat a North American diet, they would probably experience some serious adjustment time just as I would, if all of sudden I was forced to eat red meat after 34 years of abstinence. I´m sure I would have a belly ache, and a good one at that. So introducing North American food into these cultures isn´t doing them any big favor. Watching these people eat more vegetables and fruit in a day than many North Americans eat in a week is a good thing. And every time I see a bottle of Coke here, I shudder. Precious money being spent for no nutrition. That´s been the Western influence and it isn´t all good.

Lesson number three is that change needs to be organic. It needs to come from within to be really well accepted and implemented. I remember this fall reading Half the Sky, an amazing book about the plight of women around the world. In it the authors discussed lots of initiatives to change things such as female genital mutiliation, that failed. Why? Because you can´t expect people to change and stick with the change just because you think it´s a good idea.

I just learned about a foreigner who here in the neighboring town of San Marcos bought a cheap piece of land at the top of the hill and is building 80 houses. The problem is that the local people do not want to live at the top of the hill. Apparently it´s way too far up and out for it to be feasible for them to bring their produce into town to sell. The women here walk around with 10, 20, 30 pounds of firewood, produce and everything else on their head. Even they don´t want to walk straight up the side of a mountain with that kind of load. It wasn´t their idea, never will be and they aren´t racing to move into these houses, however much nicer they are than where they live. Great idea but obviously there was some important communication lacking.

Lesson number four is one that was a tough one for me, type A, Achiever, controlling, bossy, take charge kind of personality but am I ever glad I learned that patience is really important in these countries. Rather than rush in and want to change everything immediately, it is far more prudent to sit back, observe, ask questions and really watch a situation before making any suggestions or creating tidal waves. I have found that by taking my time to get to know a situation, I often have changed my opinion and thoughts on a matter. My first impression wasn´t necessarily the right one. Time tells much and although it is hard at times to just wait and watch, listen and learn, it is the wisest course in the long run. You build trust and rapport and some amazing relationships.

Lesson number five is the one I love the most. I can be the student here as often as I am the teacher. When I lived in Ecuador for four years, I learned far more than I taught. It was definitely a two-way street and that surprised me. I didn´t realize how much I could learn from these humble, beautiful people with a culture so different from my own. It´s been a gift I remember always and certainly every time I open my mouth and speak Spanish, I am grateful for the gift of the language I learned while in Ecuador that has made my life so much more fulfilling since.

I´m intending to meet with a woman this week that is doing some amazing work with schoolkids here. She is out of town but I hear she will be back by the end of the week. If so, I would love to meet with her because from what I have heard, there is an opportunity for all of us to be of real assistance to the great work she is doing. I´ll keep you posted.

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